Serious Eye Candy...Random Hotties

Mmmmm just yum yum yum....my day was kinda in the crapper until I came across these pics. Nothing much else to say other than look and drool. Enjoy!

Serious Eye Candy...Jakub Stefano

Jakub is an internet force..you can't go to a blog about hot guys and not find at least one picture of him somewhere on it. The man makes me all warm and moist like a Betty Crocker sponge cake. So here he is in my first installment of Serious Eye Candy. ::drool::

Attack of the Rant

Okay...So I need to get a long seeded issue off my chest. Yes, I like to tease. However, as I live longer with my roommates I have come to remember that some people like teasing the shit out of you to the point that you wanna scream. I personally try not let it out. I just let them have their fun. The problem is that, sometimes, those same people cannot handle being teased back.

For example, the other night I kept getting teased about my weight relentlessly. I got the "Can't find your dick" lines, the ribbing about my fat rolls and how they compared to a bakery, the joking insinuation that no one would want to fuck my cavernous ass, slapping at my man boobs, and trying to make me giggle like the Pillsbury dough boy by poking my sides. Honestly, I do get moments of being butt hurt internally, while smiling on the outside, but eventually I move on. I have heard it all before and will probably experience it in the future, so I have developed a thick skin.

Then the situation arises where I see a person having a several moments of clumsiness and decide to make light of the situation. You would think it's just fair to tease back a little, since they tease me. Well you would be wrong then. I made a couple of comments and was pretty much told to shut the fuck up. The teasing wasn't even over something that was a big deal. A pan tipped over onto the door of the oven and some sauce spilled. The burner, that was being used to cook something else, started to smoke and flashed into a small flame. These things happen to the best of people. They have certainly happened to me and if it had happened to me I certainly would have been teased about it by this person. It would be perfectly natural for anyone to tease the person who it was happening to. All I was trying to do was lighten the mood and help them see it wasn't the end of the world.

Granted, there are circumstances as to why I should probably have not said anything. It was late at night and the person was probably tired. They had admitted to me that they haven't taken their medication in awhile so they can get snappy. They were also making a meal for their loved one. I should really have been more understanding and I did end up saying I was sorry for teasing them.

So why is this rant blog? It isn't because of this one incident with this person. (I really do like this person a lot and wish I had a sibling like them growing up.) It is the frustration that I feel with myself after something happens like I mentioned above. I have all these conflicting and unresolved feelings and thoughts that I always end up internalizing and never getting out of my system. Even if the thoughts and feelings have nothing to do with the situation that just happened. So here is the blog rant version of personal therapy that might not make any sense to you at all.

I have always been the one getting teased, but when I go to tease back a bit, it feels like someone always gets pissed at me. Even though its not always, I know that occasionally I go a bit to far. However, when I tease its never from a place of trying to be malicious, or trying to even some score. Okay sometimes I tease back right after someone teases me in a bit of a joust, but usually the situation is much lighter. I also, as a general rule, only tease people I really like. Regardless, when someone gets upset, I usually end up thinking, "Man I was just trying to make them laugh a bit at themselves. I didn't mean to piss them off." My response is to truly feel sorry and apologize, and then I go down a shame spiral and feel like shit. I hate feeling that way especially over something that I know I would get teased over if the roles were reversed.

Another thing that gets me is that some people tend to lash out over the slightest bit of teasing. I can understand being upset if there are multiple circumstances working against you in that moment. When I get upset though I try and make sure to keep my composure because the person who is making the comments might not be doing it to be an evil bitch trog. I try and take a moment to clear my head and determine the motivation behind the verbal jabs. Is it something I will probably find funny later? If the situation was reversed would I be saying the same things? If I say yes to either, I reign myself in and let it slide. That doesn't always work and I do have a moments of quick temper. In my case, this is usually followed by an apology later the same day, but I have known people who don't apologize and never try to see the other persons side of things and those are the people I am mainly referring to.

Which brings me to the much bigger part three of my rant. On the very rare occasion that I get visibly butt hurt or upset about being teased, I am usually told to grow up, that I should grow a thicker skin or told that they weren't trying to be mean and I should get over it. I can't tell you how much I hate the phrase "Just get over it." If I have ever told someone to get over being butt hurt to their face, all I can say is I am sorry. (Not that I can remember the last time I have, if ever.)

For me to get visibly upset over teasing means a few things. One, that I am already not in a place where I am feeling good about myself. Two, that I probably have been dealing with that teasing from the same person, or persons, over the course of several hours even if I was feeling good about myself at the beginning of the encounter. Three, that I have endured the same teasing from the same person, over the course of a long period of time and it just seems to have come to a point where it is a douche-y, malicious thing to do because it gets you some laughs. Anyone who really knows me, would know, that I really hate making drama by lashing out at someone. If I get upset or pissed its because I have reached the limits of my tolerance. Anyone who really knows me also knows that I have been the recipient of a fuckton of good natured and bad natured hazing over the years.

Admittedly, I am a ditz and I open myself up to a lot of it. I usually don't get upset about being teased over my ditzy moments. However, I get teased about a lot of different things and the ones I eventually get bent out of shape over are things that are generally part of who I am. For example, when people attack my weight, what people don't realize is that while going through elementary school there probably wasn't a week that went by that I didn't go home from school and cry at least once because I was constantly teased. Eventually, I did just "get over it". At some point you just become emotionally numbed to it. Oh sure there were days, in junior high and high school, I would cry because maybe that day some asshole came up behind me in the hall and grabbed my chest and made some remark about my "tits" and tried playing with them like it was turning him on. I even got over that too when I realized it didn't matter that a teacher was watching me basically get sexually molested and harassed and did nothing. I knew it would be futile to go tell someone about it since I had in the past and got the"They just wanna get a reaction out of you, so don't let it get to you and they will stop" spiel. This added another layer to my ability to "get over it". What's sad is that I couldn't even stop getting teased when I went to church, granted it wasn't to the same degree as school but adults just seemed to have the same attitude about it.

Now this isn't to try and garner sympathy, the past is in the past and I can't change it now. I have made peace with it. I relayed my experience to show that I have had to endure A LOT of teasing and because of that I have developed a large amount of patience for all types of teasing. So when someone tries to tell me not to get butt hurt, it just royally pisses me off even worse. At that point I just seclude myself from people all together for a few hours until I have calmed down.

I try not to let it get to that point. I try to go do the seclusion thing, or I try to politely tell someone that I am not feeling comfortable with what is going on, before my butt hurty feelings start to show. I do this because, when it comes down to it, I tease people. Even though I try not to be obnoxious when I do, occasionally I can't stop myself. I do always apologize at the point I unintentionally upset someone. Because of that, I have to expect getting teased myself if the situation arises. I try and follow the "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen" philosophy. I want to be in the kitchen so I have to be able to endure the heat.

I guess that means I am contradictory though. I want people to be able to take some ribbing because I have had to, but I also want people to understand that at some point it can be too much and if I get upset, I am REALLY upset and not being childish. I guess the main difference is, when things go too far, in either direction, I feel bad about making someone else feel bad and I apologize. Whereas some people are not that sympathetic. This is not to say there aren't people out there who always get upset over the smallest of jokes directed at them, even though they dish out just as much, or more, than they take. Its just that I usually don't hang around those type of people.

Moral of the story: Go ahead and tease and get teased in return. Just try and remember patience for others, restraint when it calls for it, sympathy to understand people and situations, and humbleness to apologize when it calls for it. I know this is something I have to work on. However, if you can't handle it, maybe you should do some soul searching, take some meds if need be, and leave the kitchen to the cooks.

Dark Haired, Blue Eyed Boys..Mmmmm

If there is one thing that all my friends eventually find out about me, it is the fact that I have a SERIOUS obsession with guys who have dark hair and blue eyes. Two of my favorite actors are: Brian Bloom (from As the World Turns, OZ)

and Eddie Cahill (from CSI: NY)

They both have rugged good looks, dark hair and GORGEOUS light blue eyes. So you can imagine my utter delight to see both of them in an episode of CSI: NY. Eddie plays a Detective Don Flack on the show and Brian was guest starring as morphine addicted doctor suspected of murdering a woman. I was throughly enjoying the episode as I normally do (I freakin love CSI: NY), when there came a scene that practically made me jizz in my pants.

Brian's character was being interrogated by Eddie and it became so heated that I just screamed, "Oh My God JUST FUCK EACH OTHER!" much to the dismay of my roommate. Unfortunately they didn't on screen and the fantasy had to be postponed until later.

Seriously though, Brian was in OZ and had all sorts of gay fun with Christopher Maloney (Don't worry I will get around to dedicating an article to him), so I KNOW Brian wouldn't be opposed to portraying a gay man and having on-screen sex scenes. Now if we could just find the right script and get Eddie on board so that fantasy can become somewhat reality, I could die a happy man.

YAY!!!!! A new Mortal Kombat Web Series

I am still fuckin bitter about the way the ONE Season of the Mortal Kombat TV Series ended. Ok sure it was kinda of a lame show but the season and series ending episode was all the good guys getting sucked into a portal and you were left with the impression that they died... No closure. Didn't find out what happened afterward. Nothing. They could have done a straight to video movie resolving it or something and yet fans got fucked over. Fast forward a decade and we have a glimpse of an awesome new web series that at least has Jeri Ryan playing Sonya Blade so it promises to be good. (At least fanboys of Jeri Ryan and Mortal Kombat will have something to fap to.) To read more, click on this link: http://www.mortalkombatonline.com/content/News/read.cds?article=1373
I AM SO EXCITED! It is supposed to come out in April and I can't wait.

Britney Spears Hold It Against Me video

This has been stuck in my head for days now!

Rant of the Day

YaY! First rant of the blog. Soon to be followed up by some fun posts but I REALLY needed to get this off my chest.

Lately I have had to deal a lot with a certain type of person. I call them "The One Upper". Who is this type of person you may ask? This is the type of person that has a story about something that is better or just more awesome than the person, place, or thing you just related a story about. They can't just say "Oh that's cool" or "Awesome". They perpetually have the need to try and remind you that they are better than you in some way. You could have a story about having a World Record in something, but they assure you that they have seen, heard, owned, or done something better than that. I have no idea what possesses "The One Upper" to obsessively try and make you feel like shit but that is the result.

These people also tend to have the "I am the authority on everything in the Universe" complex. No matter what I say I am never right in a conversation and they have to correct me. While I find that both men and women can both can be "The One Upper", it is men who are more often than not have the "I am the authority on everything" complex. I guess it is like an Alpha male thing. "Rawr, I am teh awesomest evar. Bow to my astounding knowledge and testosterone. Rawr." It doesn't matter if the topic at hand is something I majored in, or went to school for, Mr Complex is right...ALWAYS.

It should be noted that you should never try and explain the reason that they aren't right, because that leads to a rebuttal which is more ridiculous and full of dumb-sauce than when you first contradicted them. It will leave you frustrated and fuming. Best way to deal with people with the above mentioned personalities is just to nod your head and mentally curse them for being a moron.

Also, be prepared to never hear these people admit when they are wrong. On the rare chance you have proof sitting in front of you to back your statement, Mr Complex will proceed to explain how his statement is also correct, no matter what half ass logic he uses to do so. Sometimes Mr Complex will go on to state that even though you are both correct, he is the more correct. This is generally his way of leading into further debate so he can prove to you just how big is personality wang really is. He does have to prove he is the Alpha after all.

The correct response to all this should just be to do a big mental eye roll and walk away while hoping for zombie apocalypse so that you can use these know-it-alls as fodder for your escape. After all this couldn't possibly be their first instance facing the undead. They have seen and done everything. So while they are telling the zombies, coming at you, about how they have eaten more brains than they ever will, you can make your timely escape. Later, if you are being overwhelmed, you can task Mr Complex with formulating a plan of escape (Every zombie movie has a Mr Complex that knows exactly what to do although in the end they end up dead along with half the people that followed him even though you the viewer know how stupid his plan was. The others don't usually realize this until half their comrades have been turned into appetizers. ). Just do the opposite of what his plan is and you should be able to survive.

Unfortunately, there is no hope for a zombie apocalypse to come anytime soon, so I guess I just have to sigh and shoot some video game zombies until the frustation subsides. Sigh.

First of all....

So I have another blog, but it just had the feel of "blah woe is me" from the very title of the blog. This blog is designed to get me back into blogging and making sure I write down my thoughts and feelings. I am a seriously weird person. I am also not a typical gay man in that I have a wide variety of interests.

SURE...I like pics of hawt men in barely any clothes (or none at all). I like musicals. I love my divas. I can be catty. I am effeminate. I have done drag and have a title to prove it. I am a licensed cosmetologist. The point is I have a lot of stereotypically gay interests.

HOWEVER... I love video games. I am a huge video game nerd. I also love D&D and White Wolf Publishing style dice role playing games. I can handle watching sports. I like action movies, especially ones where women are the ones kicking butt. I love japanese anime. So there are some things about myself that aren't considered "normal" for a gay man. Oh well. I have never claimed to be normal.

Anyway this is a small introduction to me. What I plan on posting on here are links of videos, pictures, and articles that entertain me. I also plan to use this blog as a place where I can share thoughts or just flat out rant when I need to. Hope you enjoy and if you do leave a comment.