Rant of the Day

YaY! First rant of the blog. Soon to be followed up by some fun posts but I REALLY needed to get this off my chest.

Lately I have had to deal a lot with a certain type of person. I call them "The One Upper". Who is this type of person you may ask? This is the type of person that has a story about something that is better or just more awesome than the person, place, or thing you just related a story about. They can't just say "Oh that's cool" or "Awesome". They perpetually have the need to try and remind you that they are better than you in some way. You could have a story about having a World Record in something, but they assure you that they have seen, heard, owned, or done something better than that. I have no idea what possesses "The One Upper" to obsessively try and make you feel like shit but that is the result.

These people also tend to have the "I am the authority on everything in the Universe" complex. No matter what I say I am never right in a conversation and they have to correct me. While I find that both men and women can both can be "The One Upper", it is men who are more often than not have the "I am the authority on everything" complex. I guess it is like an Alpha male thing. "Rawr, I am teh awesomest evar. Bow to my astounding knowledge and testosterone. Rawr." It doesn't matter if the topic at hand is something I majored in, or went to school for, Mr Complex is right...ALWAYS.

It should be noted that you should never try and explain the reason that they aren't right, because that leads to a rebuttal which is more ridiculous and full of dumb-sauce than when you first contradicted them. It will leave you frustrated and fuming. Best way to deal with people with the above mentioned personalities is just to nod your head and mentally curse them for being a moron.

Also, be prepared to never hear these people admit when they are wrong. On the rare chance you have proof sitting in front of you to back your statement, Mr Complex will proceed to explain how his statement is also correct, no matter what half ass logic he uses to do so. Sometimes Mr Complex will go on to state that even though you are both correct, he is the more correct. This is generally his way of leading into further debate so he can prove to you just how big is personality wang really is. He does have to prove he is the Alpha after all.

The correct response to all this should just be to do a big mental eye roll and walk away while hoping for zombie apocalypse so that you can use these know-it-alls as fodder for your escape. After all this couldn't possibly be their first instance facing the undead. They have seen and done everything. So while they are telling the zombies, coming at you, about how they have eaten more brains than they ever will, you can make your timely escape. Later, if you are being overwhelmed, you can task Mr Complex with formulating a plan of escape (Every zombie movie has a Mr Complex that knows exactly what to do although in the end they end up dead along with half the people that followed him even though you the viewer know how stupid his plan was. The others don't usually realize this until half their comrades have been turned into appetizers. ). Just do the opposite of what his plan is and you should be able to survive.

Unfortunately, there is no hope for a zombie apocalypse to come anytime soon, so I guess I just have to sigh and shoot some video game zombies until the frustation subsides. Sigh.